As an example of how ingrained video games have become in our kids:

It was my daughter's first time playing D&D. We all roll up new characters, go through the usual "meet the noble at the local pub for a mission", visit the local shops, and treck out to the dungeon site. When asked what we do upon locating the dungeon entrance, my daughter states

"I'd like to take this opportunity to save my game."

Took us half an hour to regather enough composure to continue.

WHFRP years ago...

When faced with a particularly nasty Wizard who fireballed a player who was under the effect of combustion with no fate points left:

"But... but I can't take 28 points of damage." *blink* *blink*

Needless to say, that quote has been around for years to epitomise said player.

A while ago, about 3 years or so, I built a page on my website where I would immortalize the one liners that I've heard over the years from people I've gamed with.

I need to update it with some of the funnier lines we've had with the current group I'm with, but here's the link.



Skunk

You wanna be alright you gotta walk tall
Long Beach Dub Allstars & Black Eyed Peas





Check out what games I’m working on and their status by visiting .

[/url]

One of the players in a Call of Cthulhu group had a tendency to wander into trouble.

One day, after he set off on his wanderings, the rest of the group was banished to another room while he did his stuff.

Player 1: So, how many times do you think he will be shot this time?
Keeper (in other room): *Blam! Blam! Blam!*
Me: Sounds like three....

We never did find out what happened to him. (A general piece of advice for surviving Call of Cthulhu - Don't Wander Off on Your Own.)

And there is the 'one liner' that everyone has heard, and will hear again, the one line that fills all with dread: Oops.

The Auld Grump, I disable the trap... Oops.

I used to play with a group where the DM's wife was a player. One time her character got into a bit of a bind in the game:

"My character may be in trouble, But this is a ring of Dungeon Master control." She said while pointing at the wedding band on her finger.
Needless to say, her character made it out of the situation alive.

Player: "They [the monsters] can't do that! - Get Real!"

GM: "Get real?", laughs, "This is a made-up fantasy game - you can't get much less real than that!"

Opening line to an adventure:
GM: Evening comes one particular night....

Arguing the potential targets in the burst radius of a spell:
Mathelus: Trees don't have souls.
Barzan: Who are you to say trees don't have souls?
Mathelus: I'm the mother-fucking ELF!

describing the main antagonist of his story:
GM: Rildantor has a cleanshaven beard

Barzan on Dwarven mining: It's like anally-raping the world.

My character who was a gnome was making a potion:

Gm: you're potion is completed, but you do not know what it does.
Me: I would like to look at it and smell it
Gm: It's green and it smells like burning.
Me: I taste it...
Gm:It's acid...
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *character goes running down the street. arms flailing in the air*

This one didn't actually happen in my group, but one of players told it to me from one of his other gaming groups.

Player: "How many ships are currently in port?"

GM: "Hmm... Approximately... Two."

This one happened in a Deadlands game of mine. Goes to show what happens when players run out of ideas on how to gather information...

Player 1 to Player 2: "You talk to them. You've got more money."

Not really a one-liner, but a classic of the group I grew up RPing with:

Luke was GMing, and I'm pretty sure it was one of his very first times. The game; Aftermath, the post-apocalyptic RPG with the combat system so ridiculously intricate it needed a flow chart, yet didn't produce particularly realistic nor enjoyable results. Yay.

The party rounds a corner in a shattered urban environment.

Luke: "You see a rat. A big rat."

Player: "How big?"

Luke: (slight hesitation) "The biggest rat you've ever seen."

Player: "Okay. But how big, more specifically?"

Luke: (checks rule book, no answer there) "The biggest rat you've ever seen."

Player: "What? Like a dog, a compact car, a battle tank? What?"

Luke: (half-shouting in desperation) "It's the biggest rat you've ever seen!"

So "The biggest rat you've ever seen" became a catch phrase meaning "I have no clue" for a few years there.

In a D&D game a PC had fallen into some deep goo that started burning his skin almost immediately. He had an option of using water, vinegar or simply scraping off the goo with a metal object.

DM: Okay what do you do?
PC: I grab a bead from my necklace of fireballs and forcefully toss it at my feet.

DM: ROTFLMAO

The current group I'm in has had some pretty good comments that they made that I haven't added to my web page. Course, I don't remember the circumstances of all of the comments, but I'll try and give you an idea of what was happening at the time.

The PCs were exploring an ancient watch tower, which they had entered to seek shelter from a bad storm. On the floor above them were a group of Orcs who had been using the tower as a base of operation in the area. Once they had found out that the Orcs were there, the PCs of course had to attack and kill all of the Orcs.

While fighting them, it became obvious that one of the Orcs was a rogue, and all but the party's rogue were having problems spotting him. One of the other members had cast light on one of his masterwork daggers before they went up into that second level so in order to make it easier for the other party members to spot the rogue, he threw the dagger at the orc.

It stuck into the orc, but was not enough to kill him. At almost the same time, the party managed to take down all but one of the other orcs. While the last orc fought the group, the orc rogue, jumped down the trap door and managed to escape out the front door of the keep into the storm. The character who had thrown his dagger at the orc turned to me and said,

"He just stole my dagger!"

Skunk

You wanna be alright you gotta walk tall
Long Beach Dub Allstars & Black Eyed Peas



Check out what games I’m working on and their status by visiting .

My personal two favorites are:

1. "Louis is no longer allowed to bring his Bag of Incredibly Bad Roll to Save Dice to the table ANY MORE!!!" Hence then, anyone who rolls a crit failure on a set of new dice automatically is said to have "inherited" Louis's Bag.

2. "Okay, from now on, when anyone finds an item that grants Wishes, we sell it ASAP because you know the DM likes to liberally interpret any sentence to mean the exact opposite of our desires." The next ring with a Wish on it was accidentally traded for a mule and made the fishmonger rich. We now have a joke about, "If wishes were fishes, we'd have not gotten the mule."

For many years a catch phrase in my games came from a Vampire: the Masquerade game, where one of the characters drained an NPC who was intended to give information to the party.
Me: You just ate the clue!
Eating the clue became a code for 'messing things up through sheer boneheaded stupidity.

Years later I encountered a thread on a web forum where one of the posters made the comment about something that had happened in another poster's game as 'wow, you really ate the clue on that one.' I asked where he got the phrase and was told that it was something that 'had happened to some guy in Maine'. I had become apocryphal! I was so proud.

The Auld Grump

My first DM was really great, totally goofy. Once the party went into a shop.

"What do we see?"

"Tack and harness on the walls, various saddles on display...there's a counter before you. No one in sight."

"Hello? HE-lOOOO?"

The DM then got off his chair and pushed it aside. He then squatted under the table and pushed the chair back, a bit at a time.

scrape....scrape...scraaape

His hands appear above the table. He pulls himself up so his eyes are barely visible.

"Whaddayawant?"

The shopkeeper was a gnome.

I might as well unload my other goofy D+D stories here.

--------------------------------------

When you are 14-15 years old, D+D is a bit ....different.

"Whew! We are back at town after a fairly successful adventure, loaded with gold and a couple of magic items. We've been on the road for 3 weeks and could use a hot meal and a bath. Where do we go?"

All: "The House of Pleasure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Feh, I'm a priest, I go clean up and meditate".

"I spend 100GP at the House of Pleasure!!"

DM: -roll- "Wow! You have the time of your life"

"I spend 50 GP!"

DM -roll- "You have a pretty good time!"

"Bah, I'm a dwarf with 5 Charisma. I spend 10 GP"

DM -roll- "You...spend 10 gp!!"