So, who is the annoying guy in the hat? (Don't spoil it for others.)

The Auld Grump

I am preparing a Spycraft game set in Northern Canada, and was reminded of , so I went digging for it.


*EDIT* And one that is just plain .

The Auld Grump

. Goodness there a lot of them.

The Auld Grump

Well, I finally got around to this thread and ... wish I hadn't.
Sooo ... politics is 'offensive' and threatens the 'calm', but this ...
this is okay? Afterall, its something to chuckle over? Are you all
going to shut this thread down because it is 'offensive', because it disturbs my sense of 'calm'.

Don't bother ... I'm not here to change you. If I don't like a thread I leave.
Just thought I'd leave a comment behind as well.

Reading between the lines, DeltaIce, I'm guessing you've hit the "don't express opinions about anything that really matters" side of hobby forums. Hobby forums seem to be one of those places people go to escape from having to think about the more complex aspects of their world.

It took me a while to get used to the idea that otherwise reasonable people can get really offended when someone posts, on a hobby/entertainment forum, a view that differs from theirs on a real world subject - it is amazing the number of 'sacred cows' (turn of phrase only, not referring to the real thing) that exist in people's minds.

Personally, I enjoy a really good discussion around a contentious topic; I end up better informed that way. But, for better or worse, small talk, not deep debate, is the order of the day on hobby forums.

Time, perhaps, for

Trafalgar and How it could have been !


Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."

Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."

Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?"

Hardy: "Sorry sir?"

Nelson (reading aloud): "'England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.' What gobbledegook is this?"

Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting 'England' past the censors, lest it be considered racist."

Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."

Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments."

Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the mainbrace to steel the men before battle."

Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government's policy on binge drinking."

Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it ... full speed ahead."

Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water."

Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest please."

Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."

Nelson: "What?"

Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness; and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected."

Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."

Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck Admiral."

Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."

Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier- free environment for the differently abled."

Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card."

Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."

Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."

Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"

Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy."

Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."

Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!"

Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of legal- aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."

Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"

Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."

Nelson: "We're not?"

Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."

Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."

Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report."

Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King."

Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life"

Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?"

Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment."

Nelson: "What about sodomy?"

Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir."

Nelson: "In that case ... kiss me, Hardy."

A couple of items of possible interest:

The Auld Grump

The Auld Grump

*EDIT* Updated link.

Gosh darn it! Those pesky giant robots are getting into everything. Even...

The Auld Grump

When things get tight, !

And for no good reason whatsoever....


The Auld Grump

And a classic from my teenage years - .

A classic I tell you, a classic!

The Auld Grump

Oh gods,

(And don't say I didn't warn you....)

The Auld Grump

This has to be one of the better ship combat flash games I've ever played.
.
Also have had a bunch of fun with this one, great little time killers.
.

Amusingly there is also an game where you can play either the animation or the animator, lol.